I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
