im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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