Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
