were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
