so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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