wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
