i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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