He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
