A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
