these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
