I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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