i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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