I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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