when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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