You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Boobs speak an international language.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i out mim tonsoeep
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