Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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