it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
