I puked a lego.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
