I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
