the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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