I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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