I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
