By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
