How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize