I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
