I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
