i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
