That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
