my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
