Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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