People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
