bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
