we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
