woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
