Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
