I think my fart just growled at me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
