Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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