It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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