I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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