the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
