i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize