After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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