If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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