He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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