You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
