why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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