Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
