I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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