you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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