Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
