i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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