i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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