No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
