Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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