I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
pray to the hookup gods
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
