Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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