I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
