It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
