I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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