wat bout pragnant strippers??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
