Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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