i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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